David Sudjiman

For the first time in my life, I stand before you naked, vulnerable, and in love. Love. A word matrimonial lawyers shy away from. Ironic isn’t it? That I have been frightened of this emotion which is, in a sense, the seed of my livelihood. But today, I am here to tell you: Love should cause us no fear. Love should cause us no shame. Love, is good.

Let me ask you a question. When our clients come to us confused, angry, hurting because their flame of love is fluttering and threatens to die, should we seek to extinguish that flame, so that we can sift through the smoldering wreckage for our paltry reward? Or should we seek to fan this precious flame, this most precious flame, back to loving, roaring life?

Extinguish?

Should we counsel fear or trust? Should we seek to destroy or to build? Should we meet our clients’ problems with cynicism or with love?

This quote was taken from the movie “Intolerable Cruelty”. I accidentally watched this part when George Clooney said this part as a speech among the lawyers, the lawyers that’s do prenuptial agreement.

Prenups is basically an agreement states that if the marriage happen to have a dead end, each party will get such and such share. Not bad, actually, considering lots of marriage can end up in rage, anger, and ‘what-about-me’ solution.

Three years a ago, we went to a pre-marital counseling. We get this short of several hours session induction to marital live, how we communicate, how to deal with money, sex, and lots of practical stuff. It was a really good induction.

One thing that I keep remembering and thinking about, is this.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

And old friend of mine, sang this song for me about 15 years ago. But that time, it was just like another song that flew off my head.

That quote means simple. Love is not about feeling. It is about decision. It is about decision when you don’t want to be kind but you have to be. When you want to be angry but you have to. When you want to keep remembering your partners faults, but you don’t. When you can’t trust your partner, but you have to.

Fame fades, knowledge fades, wealth fades. Love perseveres and it never ends.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit.